Q: OMG! You and Michael finally got married?!? Is he moving back to the United States?
A: Not unless he suddenly gets offered a test pilot position or NASA had a job opening for him. In other words, no.

Q: So if he’s there, you’re just gonna be here married and alone?
A: No. That would be stupid. Why would I marry a foreigner who isn’t incredibly wealthy and never see him? No money and/or no affection? Dumb.

Q: So you’re actually moving to AUSTRALIA?!?
A: Yep, sure am. Yeah, I know, crazy! I am living someone else’s dream life! My idea of perfect was someday having a fridge with an ice maker and maybe enough room to have a studio, and that was the big-big dream.

Q: You have so much stuff! Are you taking it with you? How do you get it there??
A: I am stripping down to the bare essentials, the stuff I cannot bear to part with. It’ll be boxed up and shipped or palletized and sent over on a container ship, depending on what I end up with. This means like 90% of my possessions are going to be sold, donated, or given away. I’ve got a Facebook group and an eBay account to get rid of all the comics and sneakers and whatnot.

Q: The dog???? Are you leaving the dog??
A: You’re kidding, right? I like the dog more than my husband or my own child. He is most definitely going with me. He will have to be quarantined for two weeks once he arrives in the country, and it’ll be stupid expensive, but I will have my chihuahua. Duh.

Q: Wait. What about your son????
A: My son has enlisted in the United States Army. He is leaving at the end of May to begin basic training. For whatever reason, being a soldier has been his dream for pretty much ever. I hate it, but I will support my human, especially when he has an actual life plan so young. I’m proud of him. So yeah, He’ll be gone. I could sit here and be depressed, or I could peace out to live in one of the biggest cities in the world, with the ocean on one side of me and the mountains to the other, with the only man I’ve been able to tolerate for more than a year? Oh. And wallabies??? No. Brainer!

Q: So when are you going??
A: No clue. Could be six months, could be six years. It’s in the hands of the Australian government. The only definite answer I can give you is this; I won’t leave before my kid does.

Yes, I’m terrified, anxious, excited, and already preemptively mourning not seeing people I love easily. I’m a million other descriptive words too that I cant describe. Maybe I need to learn to speak Klingon or something to find the right adjectives to convey the chaos? Yes, I’ll come back and visit. I mean c’mon, I have to give up my beloved Taco Shop forever for a MAN?!? None of that!


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